I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
