Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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