OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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