Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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