dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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