Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
