nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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