It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he thought i was a dude.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
