I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
