farters have to be the big spoon...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
