there were more penises there than on chat roulette
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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