i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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