my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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