Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
