My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
