it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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