Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
