is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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