piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
