I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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