all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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