Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
