It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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