I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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