No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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