I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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