I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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