physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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