Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
