I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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