you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
too bad you live with your parents still
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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