But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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