I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
