Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize