New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
