How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
