walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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