the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
