I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
