Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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