But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
