it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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