just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
