If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
