I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
