We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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