Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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