He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
