girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize