were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
