I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
