you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
