i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
