There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
