so explain again why im purple
no
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
