It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
