In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
