i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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