I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize