Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
